Me & my cancer: Journey began...

 

Blossom tree found near Captain's wood

My first appointment was to see an oncologist and a specialist nurse. I took Marcus with me for very first appointment, I wasn't confident enough to be able to hear and understand consultations. He made me a few appointments for treatment. My very first treatment was  2 bags of blood transfusion. Cor blimey, after the transfusion, I felt so much better. On my way there, I felt so ill, I had to rest many times to get to the train station! What a difference it made!  As I was leaving the day unit, I said a nurse who looked after me good-bye and thanked her for looking after me. 

A few day after, Thursday morning, I had a phone call from Addenbrooke's hospital oncology day unit, asking me to come out asap for chemotherapy. I was a bit upset, I had a class to teach in the morning and had to cancel it. I could refuse the treatment that day, but I wanted to show my willingness to be able to attend appointments. Marcus was busy, so I asked my friend to come with me for my first chemotherapy. And she did, she quickly finished her work and helped me to get to the treatment. We arrived just after lunch time.  I had my very first chemotherapy. Carboplatin and paclitaxel. By then I had got used to needles and cannula, it was very strange me being hospital that often... I was always healthy person, never really being hospital in the past ( maybe a few times...). We chatted a lady who was next to me having her chemotherapy accompanied by her grandson. Marcus turned up late afternoon to take over from my friend. I still this day, feel so grateful for my friends who helped me those challenging time. I wasn't able to get through it without their help and support. I am a lucky person to have good friends. 

Symptom wise, by then I had really bad night sweat ( I believed it was caused by menopause for long time until my surgeon told me it wasn't😅), very frequent toilet visit ( 7-10 times during night), extreme thirst ( drunk so much water, still feeling thirsty.), full quickly, abdominal discomfort/ pain, chest pain, bloating, hair loss ( after my 2nd cycle), fatigue, heavy bleeding from down below ( even worse since I was on blood thinners), muscle pain, neuropathy, taste change, etc....

It was hard, I wasn't even able to change lines on my bed. Took me about 1 hour to do it. Everything I was doing became hard work. Like putting socks on, knickers on, cooking was hard, I wasn't able to stand up to warm soup up. So I brought a chair in the kitchen to warm food. I hardly cooked. My friends brought me food or bought me lunch/dinner. At work, Marcus carried my bag with yoga mat in for me into studios. Friends gave me lift to gyms, studios for classes. I really take granted being healthy and able to do things pre - cancer days.  I really felt it. When I was growing up, my mum used to say to me health is very important, and precious, I finally understood what she meant. 

Stones from Suffolk shingle beach

After 2nd cycle of chemotherapy, my oncologist informed me it wasn't working, and tumour was still growing. So we stopped chemo, I was continued with blood transfusions and dexamethasone to control tumour until my surgery day. 

Everyday I noted what happening to my body, what meds I took and what time, I even made myself bowel chart ( I was constipated, and on laxative) to watch my bowel movement. I just wanted to do well with this journey. Luckily, I didn't feel sick from chemo, just felt really fatigued.

I cried many times, I felt so fed up going back and forth to hospital, scans, chemo, test after test....sorting out my finance at the same time. I stopped teaching one point, so my income reduced basically nothing. So I needed to claim benefit. With feeling unwell to sorting out my finance was hard work. I wanted to give up, just everything became too much. I couldn't even clean and tidy my flat.  I couldn't even think straight... I did whatever I could. If I couldn't do it, I din't do it. I took my time to do my chores. I wasn't teaching anymore that point, so I had all day to do one or two tasks a day. I didn't do anymore than that. I slept a lot though. 

Luckily, I had a good appetite, I reckon this due to steroid I was on too, I ate loads! But Now I look back, with health I had pre-cancer days and appetite, I was able to get through this tough time. I just kept going. By the December 2019, my beautiful friend Mel helped me a lot for accompanying me to my hospital appointments. 

Nearly my surgery time....