Me & my cancer: How did I get here?

Dunwich Heath on cloudy day😁

 Where are we? 

I ended my last blog with " Nearly surgery time.." 

I was supposed to have surgery before Christmas 2019. I was admitted to the hospital I was cared for, But I was feeling really nervous, apprehensive....Not very confident with going through surgery. To be honest, I was really scared. I'd never had any serious illness or surgery, I never even had a baby, so surgery felt so much alien word to me. Not sure what was going to happen, everyone said to me I'd be asleep, not feeling anything....

On the surgery morning, I was getting ready. Surgents came to see me and spoke through what was going to happen. I felt my heart pounding so loud and fast I thought everyone could hear it... When anaesthetist came to see me,  she informed me what she was going to do and there for, this made me even more nervous, however, she seemed to be very nice and calm, so I trusted her. 

In the late morning, by then, I was supposed to be in surgery, however, this never happened, I had hypercalcemia, and still my calcium level was too high for them to go ahead with surgery. So they cancelled it. I felt really disappointed and relieved at the same time. Later, my oncologist and support nurse came to see me in my ward and we discussed for future treatment etc. 

Anyway, I was there for a few more day, then I was out, back home. 🤩 

I had an appointment with my oncologist following week or so, he explained what treatment would be till next surgery time. He also sent a referral to a hospital in London, hopefully I could get the referral. 

A few weeks later I went to see my oncologist and informed me I got the referral and would hear from them soon. To my surprise, the hospital ( Queen Charlotte hospital London) contacted me fairly quick for appointment. My partner took me to London and we had consultation for surgery. By then, it was January 2020. The surgeon was lovely lady, I felt I really could trust her. She was the best surgeon in this field in Europe, and I was super excited having the surgery by her and her team. Of course, by then I was so fed up having tumour inside me, in pain, awkward in every moment, fatigue, and inconvenience of having continent pads 24/7 with bleeding, lack of sleep ( hardly any), thirst etc... I just wanted this to end. 

My surgery was scheduled on 17th of January. I couldn't wait. we were staying holiday inn in North Acton ( I think), breakfast was fabulous! It was buffet and all sorts foods! so I ate loads of eggs for protein, getting ready🤣 I never had so much eggs in my life.

Anyway, We went to the hospital for  pre-surgery admission. I was in a big ward with one other lady, with lots of empty beds. I had window bed, could see outside. 

On that night, I had fever and sweating, a doctor on call gave me paracetamol and electric fan, left window open, I felt really hot. I told her, often I felt like this during nights, so I always wear a quick dry sports top, yoga towel on my sheet and a towel wrapped around my neck. 

Following morning, fever went, the doctor told me I could have surgery. Then my surgeon came to see me, asked me what happend. She was very caring and kind. I told her, I always felt like this, and thought it was menopause 😅.  She said it wasn't.....oh, dear.... I was already post menopause, so I should've known.... never mind....It was my second time, so I knew what was expected, and I was well ready. 

Later that day, I went in for surgery.....