I haven't written a blog for ages. So, I decided to change my blog. I sometimes just want to write my thoughts, so I changed it. "Yes, Andy I changed it!"
Early this year, it was about late March, I started getting back to practising yoga and wanted to be an instructor. During working in an care homes for elderly as an carer, I always felt If I was a qualified to instruct/show old people to move and right excise, it would help their mobility and help to cope with some of medications they were on for ages... that was in my head, It wasn't my intension to be anything else. I just wanted to do some light excise/chair yoga and qi gong with them.
So, I met up with my friend Siobhan, who was an experienced yoga teacher, for an advice. After chatting, decided to go ahead of training to be an yoga instructor. Initially, I thought it was fine to just do the course on line and I'm on the tight budget (my job doesn't pay well), I don't have spare cash to pay for my training for £2-3000. On line course was just right and fit into my busy, shift work.
So, now it's been 6-7 months passed. I'm nearly finish with my paperwork. How many hours I've been doing? Been doing lots and I'll just carry on till fill my attendance paper.
Anyway, how's it been?
It's been really enjoyable, I'm not only saying about the course, just the whole experience of practising yoga. I started once a week, then twice a week, then three times a week... When I couldn't attend class, I practiced at home with youtube. ( I have some favo channels, tell you later!)
Now, I attend classes whenever I can, this week, I've done 6 classes plus 1 home practice. I now dedicated to my yoga practice. Just like I did for my qi gong.
I didn't realise, when I started getting back, I would love yoga so much. I didn't love this much before. I thought yoga was "alright". I really liked it, but not this much like now.
What's changed?
Me! I've changed.
I enjoy, when my yoga practice shows me how I do my life and yoga practice have connection. When I come across challenging asanas, I need lots of practising, and patience. Need to practise asanas bit by bit (baby step, I shall say) and finding different ways, asking or watching different people doing it etc. And that's exactly how I deal with challenging situations in my life or work. I need to ask experienced staffs at work how they deal with clients, suggestions, advice, their stories... and it really helps me. This is just one example of many experience so far I've been having for last 6-7 months.
When I bumped into my ego on my mat, so frustrated with myself why I couldn't get into certain asanas, losing my patience. I blamed on my age. Who else I could blame? What else I could blame? I didn't want to admit I was the only person there. This is my old behaviour (it's easy to blame someone else, not taking responsibility for my behaviour), I thought I left in the past when I got clean from drugs etc, worked on myself. Ha ha ha, still there in me. That's how those behaviours creep up when I'm not mindful.
Then my practice, actually reminded me (again!) to let go and be in present moment (how many times I hear that phrase). And then, it went. Since then, I have now faith, it will come and body will respond (and it's happening! Actually it was said by a yoga teacher from one of my favo vids on youtube and I really hang on to that), as long as I'm healthy and fit that's all matters at this moment. I'm still really impatience, "I want What I want I want it NOW!!!" Oh, no, not now, I wanted y'day. That's how I am, but If I let my addiction to run my life and will all tits up.
Anyway, back to my course, I feel sometimes lonely. I met some people doing teacher trainings at yoga centres and they have peers. I don't. I would love to have peers and chat about the course and progress about yoga practice. That is why I enjoy chatting with my yoga buddies even they are not on teacher trainings.
At this moment I'm not sure If I teach yoga next year and not entirely confident with it, I've changed my initial plans. Anyway, it's still miles away in future, so, don't have to think about that right now. It doesn't matter If I go into teaching or not, I just enjoy the whole experience practising yoga, that's all.
By the way, is it only me? I don't really like the word teaching/teacher etc....
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